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lumpdog

The blonde mortician..

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A man who just died is delivered to a local mortuary wearing an expensive, expertly tailored black suit.

The female blonde mortician asks the deceased's wife how she would like the body dressed. She points out that the man does look good in the black suit he is already wearing.

The widow, however, says that she always thought her husband looked his best in blue, and that she wants him in a blue suit. She gives the Blonde mortician a blank check and says, 'I don't care what it costs, but please have my husband in a blue suit for the viewing.'

The woman returns the next day for the wake. To her delight, she finds her husband dressed in a gorgeous blue suit with a subtle chalk stripe; the suit fits him perfectly.

She says to the mortician, 'Whatever this cost, I'm very satisfied. You did an excellent job and I'm very grateful. How much did you spend?' To her astonishment, the blonde mortician presents her with the blank check.

'There's no charge,' she says.

'No, really, I must compensate you for the cost of that exquisite blue suit!' she says.

'Honestly, ma'am,' the blonde says, 'it cost nothing. You see, a deceased gentleman of about your husband's size was brought in shortly after you left yesterday, and he was wearing an attractive blue suit. I asked his wife if she mind him going to his grave wearing a black suit instead, and she said it made no difference as long as he looked nice.'

'So I just switched the heads.'

(BET YOU DIDN'T SEE THAT COMIN!!!)

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He makes tonia go get in the Freezer in the garage for like 10 minutes and then come in. Then she has to lay still on the bed and not move :lol:

LMFAO

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He makes tonia go get in the Freezer in the garage for like 10 minutes and then come in. Then she has to lay still on the bed and not move :lol:

Wow now that's some sick shit man. Steve you need help......LOL

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He makes tonia go get in the Freezer in the garage for like 10 minutes and then come in. Then she has to lay still on the bed and not move :lol:

Whoa, that was more info than I ever needed on Steveo's sex life! :-o Is that even legal in this state????:D

At least that mortician gave those guys some "head" while they were there!

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So yesterday, while finding the spelling of necropheliac, I came across this on Wikipedia. That left me wondering.... STEVE are you part egyptian?:

Even in ancient Egypt, there is record of the treatment of the bodies of young women that were set out to decompose for a few days before being delivered to embalmers. This practice originated from the need to discourage the men performing the funerary customs from having sexual interest in their charges. Herodotus writes[4] in The Histories that, to discourage intercourse with a corpse, Ancient Egyptians left deceased beautiful women to decay for "three or four days" before giving them to the embalmers.[5][6]

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